Last night was horrible… I don’t know if it’s because I hadn’t had any in a few days, or because things are getting stronger, but the dreams last night were so vivid and so unsettling, I woke up shaking and sweating. Other things happened as well, though I hesitate to write it all down, for fear of how it will sound in the harsh light of day.
I am no artist, but I did my best to sketch out some of the images that stood out the most, to try and better understand them, or at least share them here if nothing else.
The first is the soldier – he doesn’t frighten me, exactly, but his presence bothers me, it unsettles my mind. When he appears I somehow know that things are going to get bad, or at least very very strange. He is always in some sort of military garb, but I can’t tell what era – he’s not modern, but not really old either. Again, he doesn’t quite frighten me, but he makes me feel so uncomfortable and strange.
I can’t make out any facial features, even when looking right at him – that’s part of what is so disturbing, I think. He never speaks, but I just get a sense that he’s trying to communicate somehow. I can’t tell if he’s sad or maybe angry – it’s hard to tell but I know he’s not really happy to see me, either.
Next is the door, the gateway, and somehow this fills me with terror I can barely convey. I drew this image and it matches my vision, but somehow doesn’t match it at all, either; the gateway seems to be constantly shifting size and shape and dimension. The more I think about it, I don’t think I’m afraid of being drawn INTO the doorway; I think I’m truly afraid of something coming OUT of the doorway, thought what that is I have no idea. I don’t think I want to know – it makes me afraid like I’ve never felt fear before, in a dream or outside of one. I think there is some sound with the doorway too – bizarre rhythmic whispers that seem to haunt both my waking and dreaming mind.
As for a narrative to the dream, I’m still not sure – the fear I feel by the time I see the gateway is so overpowering I think I lose track of all other aspects. I have jotted down a few notes, random fragments that I was able to remember as I wake in terror, but nothing definitive. I believe I start the dream alone, in a blasted landscape full of smoke and craters – I don’t recognize it, it doesn’t look real, I can’t imagine a real place looking so utterly hellish. At some point someone speaks to me, or there is some voice, but I never remember what that is.
 I wasn’t going to write this part – I don’t fully believe it myself, to be honest, but as things seem to escalate I feel I need to record everything. Last night, at 2:37am per the red glow of my alarm clock, I was awake, having just woken from one of these nightmarish encounters, and I KNOW I was awake – I heard my wife’s gentle breathing beside me, felt the sheets against my skin, and I was petting the cat, who was snuggled between us. This is all very clear to me and I cannot believe that I dreamt or imagined it.
I was laying there, eyes closed, trying to get my breathing back under control after my fright, trying to calm myself back into sleep, when I heard a noise close by. I opened my eyes and saw him – the soldier, or the shade of the soldier – standing there in the room. He appeared as he did in my dream – tall, thin, more a shadow than solid, with no facial features. I heard the whispers too, like from my dream. I cried out and sat bolt upright, waking Wendy with my shriek. The figure was gone, of course, as were the whispers, and Wendy calmed me and told me it was just a bad dream, just a simple nightmare. After a few minutes I started to let myself believe it, and after a time, finally drifted back to fitful sleep.