Another bad night last night; I think I was over-tired, and so I got into that state where I couldn’t really wake myself up, no matter how awful / crazy the dreams got. And they got crazy.
The first image I remember was the soldier again. I was there, in that cursed ‘no mans land’ dreamscape, and he was there with me, just standing. I couldn’t see his face – I never can – but I could tell he was staring at me and trying to communicate. All I could hear was the hot, swirling wind and that blasphemous chanting, calling out in some alien tongue. I could hear the words, though – now that I recognize them.
I heard it, intertwined with the chanting, carried on that carrion-tinged wind. It was a deep, inhuman voice, which makes sense, because the words themselves seem inhuman, something not of our rational, waking world.
The soldier shook, seeming like some kind of seizure, and then he pointed with a glistening, misshapen hand. I turned, not wanting to, and saw the gateway. It was bigger, yet smaller than I remembered – I know that sound crazy, but it was a dream and that’s somehow what my mind registered. I think it was just my minds’ way of dealing with an image, a concept, that it couldn’t really rationalize? I have no idea, I’m totally making that up, but I know that when I awoke, sweating and panicked, that’s the impression left behind, the ghostly images still flickering behind my eyelids.
I could still see that terrifying cosmic vista behind the gateway – stars and planets flickering with a sickly light and malevolent purpose. There was a whistling sound too, beyond the gateway – I think it was a whistling, but maybe it was the wind, I can’t be sure.
I finally woke up, terrified – I didn’t scream this time, at least. Hands still shaking, I splashed my face with cold water, and the eyes that looked back at me from the dimly lit bathroom mirror… I barely recognized them.
I sent that letter almost a week ago. I hope I hear something back soon, but I have no idea what to expect. I know what I’m hoping for, a solution to all this, some concrete answers, but this seems unlikely. I can hope, though.