I have been trying to do more research on Yog Sothoth – it’s one of the only things that continues to come up with any regularity. When web searches were no help I was ready to give up, but Wendy suggested something that, honestly, hadn’t even crossed my mind in this digital age – the library.
The local East Providence Library wasn’t any help – not sure why I would have expected it to be for something like this – but then I came across the Providence Athenaeum, a private library that contains many… unusual tomes. One of the librarians there helped me search through a section of older books that shared a certain metaphysical or occult subject matter.
I was there for hours and hours, pouring through subject matter that alternated between confusing me and making my blood run cold, when the librarian brought me a new book. It was an unassuming book of moderate size, with a well worn black leather cover and pages that, while showing there excessive age, were also soft and smooth, not brittle or fragile like many of the other books and documents I have been looking at.
She said it was an old Christian book about ‘fighting devils’ – she compared it to Kramer’s ‘Malleus Maleficarum’, the fabled ‘Hammer of the Witches’. Thankfully it was also written in English; it was an antiquated dialect, but I was able to understand most of it, and continued my search through it’s pages. After half an hour of nothing but prayers and warnings against madness, death, and damnation at the hands of all manner of devils and demons, I came across a passage in that time-worn volume that stopped me in my tracks:
“Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth’s fields, and where They still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread.”
Obviously, not only seeing those words there, written on pages hundreds of years old, but also seeing the reference to the gate, I didn’t know what to think, but a terrible clarity began creeping into my thoughts. Yog Sothoth is the gate, is the guardian of the gate? To my mind, after months of these terrifying dreams, that can only be a reference to one thing:
The librarian didn’t know much about the book – she said that it had been in the library’s collection since before they moved to their current building in 1838 and assumed its origins were mid 1600s, but aside from its age and unusual subject matter there wasn’t anything remarkable about it – they had books that were both far older and far more mysterious. She said it wasn’t famous or infamous like other occult volumes, and it held no special place in the stacks – it was just an old Christian book about devils and demons, one of many. To me, however, it clearly held greater meaning.
I wasn’t allowed to take photos or make copies, but I feverishly wrote down everything I could – the information in the book was sparse, but I found one other key piece of information, and again, a truly terrifying picture is beginning to form in my mind now.
“Yog-Sothoth knows all and sees all. To “please” this deity could bring knowledge of many things. However to see or learn too much about Yog Sothoth is to court disaster. According to the Church, the favor of Yog Sothoth requires a human sacrifice and eternal servitude.”
Human sacrifice? Is that my great grandfather’s darkest secret? And eternal servitude – as in, more than just life long? Could that mean generational? Could my great grandfather and his friends have made a deal with this entity in 1917 that is still affecting me today?
I may have more questions than answers now, but I have a lot more information than I did a week ago. I don’t know if I can use it, or even what to do with it, but it’s a place to start, and that’s more than I’ve had for a while.