For the past week and a half I have been performing a specific ritual before bedtime, as outlined by William Jameson, to try and counter the effects of the spell I performed that called upon the power of Azathoth. I’ve done it every night, as required, and the dreams have been tolerable, the escalations few and far between.
I guess I got complacent, or maybe I was just over tired and didn’t want to have to deal with it, I’m not sure, but I did not do the ritual last night. I didn’t do any part of the ritual, I just went to bed, and things got bad again – really bad. I’m not even sure where to begin.
The dreams got very vivid; almost as soon as I fell asleep I felt like I was pulled out of my body by invisible strings, racing across vistas of onyx black malevolence. I heard a high, discordant piping sound and saw figures and structures my mind couldn’t really make sense of; they looked like they didn’t belong together, I can’t describe it at all but I still see it in my head, the images hiding just beyond my reach, threatening to break through into madness.
I’ve been away from the website for a bit, for a number of reasons, the foremost of which is the fact that I just wanted a few days of calm, ‘holiday spirit’ with friends and family, without thinking about all the mad things out there. They problem is that, once you know about all these dark secrets, you realize you can’t ever stop thinking about them; they are always there now, gnawing at the corners of my mind, and they are taking a toll physically – it was mentioned more than once how I look ‘unwell’ in some way; Wendy has been telling people I’m just getting over a particularly nasty flu.
We were at a Christmas Eve party on Tuesday, drinking wine and talking about whatever random things people talk about at awkward family parties. I was staring out the front window at the house across the street and I think I was getting somewhat mesmerized by the twinkling Christmas lights – they seemed to start swirling and fading in and out, reminding me of some dark forgotten dream, and I heard a strange sound, like some kind of bizarre flute or piping sound. I didn’t realize I was the only one hearing it at first and even asked about it, causing a few awkward stares and some jokes about how many glasses of Merlot I had finished. I just laughed it off and said it must have been a cell phone or something, but no telephone ring tone could match such an awful and discordant tone.
Things have started happening again in the house, too – nothing like what was going on a few weeks ago, but Wendy and I are both seeing things – items moved or missing, or hearing what sounds like a door or drawer open or close. The dreams are still bizarre and surreal, visions of a vast and terrifying nothingness and figures that defy any kind of rational description. There’s a ‘wrongness’ to it that’s hard to describe.
I got another email – this one was just a link to a YouTube video. I clicked on it – after verifying the link was legitimate and not some scam site – and watched the video. At first I was wondering why it was sent to me – it seemed to have little to do with what I’m dealing with and what I speak about in the blog here. As I watched, though, it became clear that this wasn’t some strange conspiracy site tossing around wild theories… this was all real, and it all happened within the past few weeks, all around the world. Combined with the recent dreams, the black abyss, the terrors of the infinite void and the things that dwell within it… this video chills me to my very soul.
I did not make it, it was sent to me via email, but I feel the need to offer some small warning – this video may make you question a great many things about what we consider the reality and the sanity of the world we live in…
I never imagined that magic was real or that a spell would work… who would ever think that? We live in the real world, the rational world. A world of reality TV and fast food, not ancient gods and magic spells.
I got another letter from William Jameson, written in his now familiar hand – I’ve posted copies of the letter below. He really did know my grandfather, as I suspected, but not in the way I expected. Apparently my grandfather helped him with some kind of supernatural problem years ago – so that’s something Grandpa Joe did, apparently, helping people with supernatural issues. Wouldn’t have ever guessed that one. I can’t even believe I’m writing that, but it’s right there, in the letter, and why would he lie? I suppose there are a good number of reasons why he would lie, technically, but I have this feeling that he’s telling the truth, which is kind of my problem.
Things are still going OK – I haven’t really even felt the need to update here. We haven’t heard any weird noises, no ghostly figures, no doors opening on their own… we’re doing normal stuff now, like Christmas shopping, and we even decorated the tree, like normal people. Wendy seems to be doing better than she has been in months, and the decreased stress level is noticeable for both of us. It nice, things almost feel like they’re back to normal, even though I’m still not sleeping well.
So did it work? Did the protection hex I cast the other night actually work? Honestly, I’m not sure.
In some ways I can say yes, it definitely worked, and that’s exciting. Since I cast the spell (I can’t believe I’m saying that) we haven’t experienced any unexplained opening doors, there haven’t been any strange sounds in the house, no shadowy figures; no weird experiences at all, actually. Wendy has noticed too, and she confirmed that since Tuesday night she hasn’t had a single experience that she would consider unusual or ‘paranormal’. That’s really good news, obviously. I told her what I did, too; I let her know yesterday and I showed her the video. She seemed nervous, not that I would blame her, but the results seem to speak for themselves and I think at this point she’s more relieved than anything else.
Wendy went out with friends for ‘holiday stuff’ – I think lately that’s code for red wine and bookstores – but I had all the things I needed for the spell, so I finally tried it. It took a while to set the altar up properly, down in the basement of course. There were so many details and so many strange things I needed to set up; specific candles, herbs, oils, and even a genuine fossil; that was hard to find, and that’s going to take some explaining when it shows up on the credit card statement. Another hard thing was that I had to memorize the spell – I wasn’t supposed to have it written down for some reason, so I said it over and over again until I had it memorized.
It was weird – when I started setting up the altar I still thought it was stupid, that the email was a hoax. I felt embarrassed that I was even attempting it. As I was completing the setup, though, I felt a change – I don’t know if it was something mental, or a real physical change, maybe a bit of both, but by the time I was ready to start the spell itself my hands were shaking and I was sweating.