The Rain Keeps Falling…

It’s spring now, at least according to the calendar.  I’ve spent a lot of time indoors, between the biting cold and the rain and sleet, just sitting and reading, surrounded by stacks of books.  I read until my eyes ache, drinking wine, sometimes listening to music.  The books and music are practically random, not tied to any specific topic or genre any longer – I just pick something up and start reading it; it could be a Harry Dresden book, or a book on birdwatching, or some ancient tome written in Latin or Lemurian – it doesn’t matter any more, I just need something to keep my mind engaged, keep me focused so my thoughts do not wander.  When thoughts wander there have been… negative consequences.

I still need to sleep, however, and when I sleep, I still dream.  I have my evening rituals, my sigils and spells and candles to protect me from the black wings and the madness and the pipers.  I can still have ‘normal’ dreams though – the things in my subconscious can still spill out before my eyes as I drift to sleep, and my own thoughts and twisted memories can still torment me and drive me mad as I embrace that cursed slumber.

I suspect it was because of all the rain, but as I dreamt last night I found myself surrounded by dark green water, cold and alien.  I floated there, in the emerald gloom, completely disoriented, the taste of brine filling my mouth.  I was initially afraid I would drown, but I found that I didn’t need to breathe, so I relaxed and just floated there, my eyes adjusting.  After some time, I realized I wasn’t floating, but slowly sinking deeper into the murk.  There was a glimmer far below, a sickly yellow flickering that immediately filled me with an inexplicable dread.  I had no idea what was below me, but as I drifted closer my fear and dread only grew, my hands shaking as I sunk deeper and deeper into the sea.

I couldn’t swim up – no matter what I tried, or thought I tried, I just kept sinking deeper and deeper, and the glimmer became brighter and brighter as I came closer to the bottom.  I began to make out some details of what lay beneath me, patterns of huge stones that stretched out as far as I could see, like some cursed ancient city laying dead and skeletal at the bottom of the sea.  That sick yellow glow was coming from the center of the place; I couldn’t look at it too closely, it hurt my head if I stared into it and my fear continued to grow unchecked.  There was something there, something terrible that was drawing me in, agonizingly slowly so that as I drifted toward it I could do nothing but imagine what terrors lay below me.

The first shadow took me by surprise.  I was expecting some sort of sea life, of course – fish or sharks, maybe a whale – but these shadows were like nothing that swims in any sane sea.  I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and saw, well off in the distant murk, the shadow of something massive, writhing silently through the darkness.  I peered more deeply into the gloom but couldn’t see any more, just maddening glimpses of something huge and terrifying swimming around me.  I saw it more, as I continued my maddening drift downwards – never a clear view, always just seeing glimpses of horrifying shadow, monstrous in size and shape.  It made no sound, but as it’s massive form swam around me I could feel it’s impact on the currents.

I was almost to the sea floor, probably forty or fifty feet above it, and the source of that malevolent yellow light was a deep well in the center of a cyclopean city that lay crumbling on the sea floor.  I was directly above the chasm and continued to drift down slowly, maddeningly unable to change my descent.  It was as if I was slowly being sucked into some nighmarish gaping maw, and there was nothing I could do about it.  I could see down into it but what I saw still made no sense – there was a sensation of writhing, angular movement, things not describable by modern languages spoken by sane people.

It is as this point, as I was drifting beyond the lip of this terrible well deep on the sea floor, that any sane person would wake, shaking, with hands clammy with fear sweat.  I could not wake though, could not rouse myself from this slow motion nightmare.  I continued my maddening drift downwards into terror and, I assumed by this point, death.  I closed my eyes tightly, blocking out that poisonous yellow glow and the terrible figures that writhed on the walls of the pit, just praying silently that nothing would touch me, or at least that it would all be over soon…

I awoke drenched in sweat, shaking and gasping for air, rain pelting the windows sharply.   I do not know what woke me, but the taste of salt water still filled my mouth and those terrible, monstrous shadows still swam in my vision…

I wish I didn’t have to sleep at all…

About Chad

Just a normal guy with a lot of very abnormal stuff going on.

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