More dreams, night terrors. It’s getting closer.

Another bad night last night; I think I was over-tired, and so I got into that state where I couldn’t really wake myself up, no matter how awful / crazy the dreams got. And they got crazy.

The first image I remember was the soldier again. I was there, in that cursed ‘no mans land’ dreamscape, and he was there with me, just standing. I couldn’t see his face – I never can – but I could tell he was staring at me and trying to communicate. All I could hear was the hot, swirling wind and that blasphemous chanting, calling out in some alien tongue. I could hear the words, though – now that I recognize them.

‘Yog Sothoth’ Continue reading

Avoiding the truth, an interesting occurrence in East Providence

I’m not sure if there have been more escalations at home. I wasn’t home most of the weekend, truth be told. I used every excuse I could to keep us out of the house, and Wendy gladly accommodated my whims – going out for breakfast, shopping, movies… I believe whatever is going on, she is definitely experiencing something… something she’s not ready or able to deal with.
There is a genuine feeling of ‘otherworldlyness’ in the house that I can definitely feel when I return after being gone for a while, but soon after I get back it just seems to fade away – or I get used to it, which is even scarier.

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Another clue in the dreams? I think so.

I still haven’t slept much since the last dreams, sometimes it’s hard to even close my eyes.  The sleeping pill was such a bad idea.  The things I saw, that terrible void, I’m seeing more glimpses, remembering smells, sensations…  I remembered something tonight, it came to me like a sickening flash.

I remembered the smell first, that horrible smell of fetid, rotting meat, and then I saw the gate, that nightmare portal with it’s mad, swirling worlds beyond it.  I recalled a new detail, though, a new part of the picture that I saw in my dreams but didn’t immediately recall.  I’ve tried to draw it as closely as I could recall.  As soon as I remembered it, I knew it was an important piece of the puzzle.

Worshippers at the Gate

Worshipers at the Gate

I have heard the screaming and chanting sounds that fill the air in that nightmare dreamscape, but other than the soldier I’ve never seen another person.  This time, in my deep, sleeping pill induced dreams, I saw four shadowy figures around the gate, kneeling before it in some kind of bizarre twisted worship.  They revered it, and they were chanting.  I still can’t understand what they are saying, but it’s somehow familiar.

The reason I believe this dream fragment is important is because there are four figures, just like there were four men in Germany during World War I – my great-grandfather, Roberts, Arthur, and Andrew.  Something happened back there in Germany, and I know that’s the key to all of this, I just have to keep searching for what that is, to understand what happened.

I know it’s probably the lack of sleep, but I’ve started to imagine things, fusing together pieces of real life and I dream, and I’m starting believe that these men found something there in Germany, something old and, supernatural.  Something evil.  A ghost or demon or something worse, I don’t know.  Something insane.  That’s what it all is.  Insane.

Beyond the gate of dreams

Still shaking, can’t think, but I have to get this down.  Too much in my head.  Is this it?  Is this what pushes me over the edge?  God, the dreams…  I’ve stared into…

I took a sleeping pill, to try to get a full night’s sleep – Wendy’s idea.  I had no idea what it would do – I just wanted to get some sleep, that’s all.  I didn’t think it would be dangerous.

I fell asleep quickly, that was nice, actually – lately it’s taken me a while to settle down and close my eyes and get to sleep, but tonight it was quick and easy.  I don’t know how long I was asleep when the dreams started, but I knew right away something was different.  Normally the dreams are black and white and grey, but tonight they were in color – terrible, sickening colors, colors that I can’t describe with any words I know. Continue reading

I’m feeling awful – time to try something new.

I feel terrible – I think I have had a constant stomachache for the better part of a week, and now I’m doing things like nodding off at dinner.  I know it’s from the stress of everything going on, the weird events, the sounds, this ‘investigation’ I’m trapped in.  Wendy is blaming it on lack of sleep, and I have to admit, that is definitely getting to me lately – I feel so tired and drained.  I’m still not sleeping well, most nights only getting an hour or two uninterrupted before something wakes me.  Last night it was clapping – it sounded like someone clapping their hands somewhere downstairs.  I searched for the source of the sound for 30 minutes, then I sat in the living room with a camera at the ready, waiting for something to happen.  Nothing did, of course, but I still couldn’t really get back to sleep after that.  Wendy keeps pointing out all the things that sleep deprivation can cause, which actually includes things like disorientation, loss of mental focus, and even hallucinations.  Great – thanks Web MD. Continue reading

More than dreams…

I know I can’t get back to sleep tonight, so I might as well post here.  I think Wendy is starting to believe me, or at least believe that things are not what they seem, especially after the tonight’s events –  though it’s obvious she is is still highly skeptical.

It started with the dreams – they are almost every night now, and they growing more intense, more detailed.  Tonight was the soldier, with his face still in shadow and that hideous, writhing tentacle for an arm.  Tonight I remember a terrible rhythmic screaming sound too – not a moaning or chanting, but a genuine, horrifying screaming that I hesitate to recall in any detail.  It made my skin crawl and I could feel a deep fear churning in my stomach.  I felt sick to my stomach, like I was going to thrown up – even in the dream.  I truly did not know that could happen…

Though the dreams were really bad tonight, that wasn’t what woke me.  Instead, just after 2 am, the heavy, 100+ year old solid wooden door to our bedroom slammed shut hard enough to knock a few items over on the nearby dresser.  I shot upright in bed, disturbing dream images still filling my mind, and saw a twisted shadow image writhe across the room, from door to window, and then it was gone.

Wendy woke up too, obviously, and I think she saw the shadow as well  She wouldn’t admit it, but I saw her do a double-take, looking in the same direction as the shadow as it moved across the room.  She had no idea what to make of the situation and is insisting that the door was slammed by some kind of freak breeze, nothing more.  I saw a look from her though… I think she’s becoming less certain of her rational explanations.  I know it’s hard to start believing there’s something else out there, something bizarre and terrifying – I’ve been ther

Not just dreams now, there’s more to them…

I’ve had more dreams – some nights they don’t wake me up, and other nights I wake up sweating and shaking.  Last night was a bad one, with that cursed portal, humming and shrieking and filling my head with fear and a deep horror.  There was something beyond it, on the other side of the portal, but I can’t be sure.. I don’t think I want to look at it, I don’t want to know.  It just sits there, hovering over that blasted, damned landscape, and I just feel terror.  I thought that was the extent of it  – I thought it was a nightmare scene, a hellish dreamscape.  Nothing like that could ever exist in the real world, right?

No Man's Land, WWI

No Man’s Land, WWI

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